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Dad, let's talk. No, I don't need money, just sit. It's Father's Day today.

Dear dad,

Today I write a letter to you because capitalism taught me today’s your day and I ought to publicly express my emotions to you.

Now, before I begin, it’s imperative that I say 2 things

a) A disclaimer that this piece will be very poorly drafted because my words lose structure and my brain starts to fumble whenever I try to express anything to you. You just have that effect on me.

b) I commend you for not giving up on me and if I’m being even a *tad* bit honest, the kind of kid I’ve been, I wouldn’t have blamed you, had you taken that harsh call.


We’ve never openly communicated and told each how we feel, but we didn't have to either because we both invariably knew. I always knew what every eye stare meant. You've taught me everything. Everything ranging from words, how to use them, when to say and what to say. Your slight flinch in the eyebrow was enough indication for me to know I am not walking the right path and I must embark on an immediate return. Do I think your ways were a little too tough on me and I wish you’d expressed your love more often to me? Sure. But does that mean I’d want it any other way? Absolutely not. You were how you were because that’s what was best for me and we both knew it, I just don't like admitting it. But I commend you because, despite your hard ways and me making it harder, you never gave up. You supported me on days I did not deserve support. You held me and loved me on days I could not expect love from anybody, far from it being you.

Our relationship is a weird kind of toxic. This statement will make sense only in this context but there are some toxic relationships which are truly good for you and I think ours is just that.

It is not easy to spend days with you but there is honestly nobody I can spend those days with but you. Today I write a letter to you because capitalism taught me today’s your day and I ought to publicly express my emotions to you but I want to ask capitalism, how can today be his day when without him I’d have no days at all.


- Matthe ka soor

(The Incurable Headache)


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